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An esteemed citizen of the Great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Sure they may seem like easy drunk targets, but I can assure you hanging out with them will only lead to you fighting one of their ex-boyfriends who is stalking the group, while also drunk, and possibly under the influence of a strong pre-workout mix.Back before that ill-fated night in Philadelphia where I was mesmerized by a young New Jersey girl — which ultimately led me to my slow sandy death, deep into the bowels of South Jersey. Read this list and commit it to heart before deleting it from your history and if any of these points ring true, I would advise you to run. Jersey girl for sure if she replies, “I just give money to an Indian guy, wait a few minutes and drive away.” The Jersey Girl accent can be hard to identify having several different local dialects depending on the region. Doesn’t necessarily mean she’s from New Jersey, but she’s definitely got some family there. There are many malls in NJ and they are always packed.
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Surrounded by gyms and window tint shops, I forever bear the cross that is my New Jersey wife and until death do us part. Run far away and if by chance you happen upon the promising plains of Delaware County, PA, tell my sweet mother I love her, and I’ll probably see her this weekend. Gaining the clementine complexion of say a Snookie or a J-Wow takes serious time and effort. Though I’d describe it as a mix of “valley girl” with a splash of “Rocky.” A method I have devised to train my ears is to hold my nose while saying trash. The nasally intonation heard is often times associated with Jersey Girls. Sadly the state of NJ has beef with the left direction and requires its citizens to spin around these so-called “jug handles” like circus clowns whenever they want to veer off to the left. Their sophisticated processed meat palates can appreciate the even slightest nuances in various pork rolls—and if it’s not “Taylor” brand, then you’ve got a problem. If you’ve never been to a gym in NJ you need to stop what you’re doing and go.
You need to embrace the human microwave and have no concept of skin cancer. Most Jersey girls can not resist celebrating the return to their home soil. Not all, but some NJ babes abide by the “if-it-almost-covers-your-butt-cheeks-then-it’s-OK-rule” and watching them twerk the leg machine is definitely a treat.
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